The River Will Roll, Roll, Roll

Its time for another post. I have a lot to share. One thing I am learning is there are a lot of you out there reading this that i didn't realize - thank you for taking the time.

I've had a few major bumps in my life lately, but I've been so fortunate for some wonderful friends - especially in SL - who have been pulling me through, whether they realize it or not.

My dissertation is stuck. My site backed out, thanks to a woman who is not what she appears to be. I am struggling to find another place to do my research now. If you know of a secondary school that is interested in hosting a study on the effectiveness of SL as a learning tool for academic achievement, please let me know.

My friends in SL are coming and going, but those who are close to me are closer than ever. Shift happens. Love comes and goes, friends weave in and out, life moves on.

My own personal roller coaster ride is bumpy. I had a serious setback. Back to square 1. So here I am 10 months later - not much progress. Eventually. I was told this part would be trial and error - so be it. If you see me whizzing past you - slow me down. If I am barely moving, give me a shove. I'll learn how to walk steady eventually.

Thanks and love to my good friends who make me smile every day no matter what.

Obama Won the Nobel Prize for Lactating Hope

She's Baaaaack!

Well hello there - I feel like I fell off my bike and am afraid to get up (ok, maybe not that extreme). Its been way too long since I've blogged. I've been up to my eyeballs in writing chapters for my dissertation, getting my IRB approval, and reminding my family I still exist. And in between I am spending way too much time in SL, between playing, networking, and listening to good music. SL is my hell in a bucket, btw. And yes, I"m enjoying the ride. Just not sure where I'll land.

Some of the things that are going on in my SL world are fun, some are frustrating, and other are actually getting boring. I've been in SL for 2 1/2 years now. Since I've been here the music scene has exploded and I am branching out of my comfort zone and listening to a lot of different kinds of musicians. I"ve been especially loving the electric blues sounds of Edward Kyomoon, Noma Falta, Komuso Takagawa, Jimmyt49 and Jeffo Pelous. What an amazing collection of musicians. And then there are my always favorite folk/classic rock musicians like Kitzie Lane (my SL sister, so yes, I'm biased), Woodsong Zapatero (another bias), Montavious Peccable (might as well be family - oh, sort of is now), and Tallguy Kid, Gregg Collossus, Nick99, and Grateful Stryker. And most of them even know how to pronounce my name correctly! (ok, so for those of you not sure: Yay-mis) The music is ALWAYS the fun part of SL for me.

So are my friends. Kitzie and I have added a sister to our family, Dawnlyn Writer. I never thought i would meet such wonderful people and wish we didn't all live in different corners of the US. One day a trip is required. Soon. And I am meeting really great people in some of the educator groups I belong to as well. I am becoming more and more involved in them (ok, slowly, but surely) and am finding it fascinating to see the level of dedication people have to embracing virtual worlds as an emerging educational technology tool. You all rock!

So what is the boring part? I guess its the routine of what I do. I need to shake it up a bit. Maybe more time in the educational groups, just doing something different now and then is a good thing. I need to explore other sims more often to see people's creativity and get ideas for educational uses of SL.

So if you aren't busy this Friday night at 6 SLT, come out to my Butterfly Garden for a night full of music - Octoberfest American Style. I've got 6 musicians over three hours ready to rock you into the weekend. IM me for a limo!

Oh, and thanks for reminding me I have a blog ;-) ttys.

hugs

Life is Good

Pedals on wind

Wheels in the air

Fly with me

Ride with me

Come if you dare.

Life IS good :)

Muzzy and Me

Lying here next to me

your head in my lap

snuggled in tight

for your morning nap.

My buddy, my friend

your nose cold and wet

the sweetest one

I've ever had yet.

Bouncing with me

when I want to play

sitting with me

after a long day.

My puppy, my love

lets play in the sun

the fun of the day

has just now begun.

WTF???

OK, so most of you know that i have spent the last two years working to get a sim on the teen grid for my school.  With my superintendent's blessing (so I was told) I began training my teachers.  Like all other districts, we are financially strapped this year.  District support isn't an option.  Fortunately, I am getting very good at grant writing.  Then - BAM - deadline due for the grant tomorrow - and i can't get it approved to send - by the tech director who doesn't understand this technology.  WTF???????  frustration - anger- and a resignation that even the best technology resources will never reach their full potential.  So I am done.  Sarah (my teacher alt) is no longer needed.  So now...time to focus on what matters - one less thing on my plate, right?

Which Way Did I Go?

Wild thoughts racing through my head.  Stay, go, why am I here, where can i go?  How are you today?  I don't know. I can't tell where I am.  Up? Down? Both?  I'm definitely not in the middle.  Who needs me?  Who do I need?  Losing track of time, of stuff, of where the balance is.  It wasn't expected to last, the peace.  Guess i got a good stretch between.  Better than nothing.  Sleep comes to me now, thats good.  Lost in my other world, this one lets me go.  Floating, not grounded. Will you love me anyway?

When I had no wings to fly.....

Box of Rain

Walk into splintered sunlight
Inch your way through dead dreams
to another land
Maybe you're tired and broken
Your tongue is twisted
with words half spoken
and thoughts unclear
What do you want me to do
to do for you to see you through
A box of rain will ease the pain
and love will see you through

And love is seeing me through

Walk into shining sunlight
Inch my way through sweet dreams
To another land

I might be tired and broken, but
My tongue is softer
My words complete
My thoughts are clear
I want you to love and hold me
To care for me, to see me through
My box of rain will ease the pain

Your love will see me through
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Happy Rez Day to Me!!!!

Wow! I can't believe I'm two already.  As my rez day approached, I wondered where the last two years went.  Not to my surprise, I realize it has been in SL.  If you've been following my blog, then you've been on this journey with me for the last year and i thank you for coming along for the ride.  The people in my second life are as dear to me as those in my first life.  

My personal and professional lives have flourished here, and now my dissertation research keeps my SL time in check (mostly).  What can be better than having an excuse to play, work,and research in my favorite place.

So while my family and RL friends think I'm going to hell in a bucket...at least I'm enjoying the ride. ride, ride ,ride yeah!!!

If I

If I opened my mind

and saw you there

would the wind and the fire

cause much despair?

If I opened my heart

and let you in

would the flowers and birds

know where to begin?

If I sang through the night

and cried in the day

would the powers that be

lock me away?

writers block

what do you do when you want to write - but your mind has been forced to slow down - and creativity no longer flows from your fingertips, sparkling and insightful?  

what do you do when the energy levels dwindle and your brain run at the same speed as the rest of the world, plodding along, getting by?  

how boring.  

     how necessary. 

          or is it...? 

He's Gone

My friend, my confidant, my love.  I am sorry. I will always love you. 

Isn't it Ironic?

I have to laugh at irony.  Over the last week, I have read the first two books of the Twilight series by Stephanie Meyers.  A wonderful modern day Romeo and Juliet love story between a girl, a vampire, and a werewolf.  The series is absolutely engaging and lives up to the expectations set by all my friends and students who have read and recommended it.  It is so well written, that I am in awe of Bella and Edward and Bella's desire to become part of the Cullen family.  Vampires suddenly became "cool".  I like them.

So then why was it that I was shocked and momentarily frightened when vampires moved in next to me in SL?  I raised a wall between our lots.  Then I stepped back and laughed.  Laughed that I could find vampires fascinating in my book fantasy, but frightening in my SL fantasy world.  Is it because my SL world doesn't seem as fantasy-like as a book?  If that is the case...I need to re-examine my perceptions.  Until then, I will wear garlic and a scarf around my neck.  ;-)

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The Times, They are A-Changing

I am very worried about the economic state of the country right now.  The concern is both personal and professional.  On a personal note, I now have probably one third of my closest friends (that includes one sibling) who have been let go recently and/or cannot find work.  What is going to happen to them and their families?  How long can the live off of the reserves they have in the bank - if any?  I am concerned because I have never seen so many people each day worry about whether they will be employed the next.

Professionally, I worry about the impact of the economy on education.  Teachers, teaching assistants, clerical staff, and even administrators are being let go because districts cannot afford to pay everyone.  What will this do to our children?  Will we be able to give our children the education they are entitled to in an environment conducive to learning?  How many students will be left behind and in need of academic intervention services because we cannot afford to give them the proper education in the first place?  Will we be able to teach them 21st century literacy skills to compete in a global economy?  What will this do to the drop-out rate?  I cannot fathom the answers to these questions.  

In half an hour, our district has an emergency faculty meeting to discuss this.  I am curious to hear what our superintendent has to say about all of this, and how our district will handle this difficult economic period. 

I am frightened for what feels like an impending crash of the our entire economic system and how my family will have to handle it.  I know we will have to live more modestly, help others when we can, and be just a little kinder than necessary to put smiles on otherwise worried faces.  This is Tikun Olam.  

Lessons for a Butterfly

Hello!  Thank you, my friends, for being patient with me while I took a hiatus from writing.  It has been a very turbulent couple of months for me, personally, and although I wanted to write, my thoughts weren't coherent enough to put down in words.  

I have been forced to face a very serious life-long condition - the details of which are personal and I hope you will understand if I don't choose to share them.  As a result, I have been forced to look at myself in ways I never have, and acknowledge the stranger I have become to myself.  I have been forced to take responsibility for my actions and for my health.  I thank God for the good friends and family I have who remind me that each day is worth the fight and will bring me one step closer to fine.

So, my friends.  My FL friends have proven themselves over and over in my life.  And the SL friends with whom I have brought into my FL, either through Facebook, email, Yahoo, phone calls, or "live and in person visits" have also remained true and honest.  And these are the people I need in my life.  Every day is a gift to be shared with friends and family.  I cannot waste my days in either world petty issues, cliques, back-stabbing, and self-righteous people.  

I almost feel fortunate that I am going through what I am (when I am not having a pity party for myself) because I am learning things about myself and others that I would not have otherwise.  It is too bad it often takes a major life event for people to learn these things.  What a better place the world would be if we all shared that perspective.  Life, love, family and friends.  It really is all that matters.

For those of you reading this who have been with me on this journey - you know who you are, THANK YOU!!! You are all making such a difference.

So, with that out of the way......I'M BACK - and this butterfly is still free to fly!! 

/hoooo!!

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Are you Addicted??

Most of you know I am a high school computer science and math teacher.  I am looking to bring my classes into Second Life on the Teen Grid and have been working with a core group of teachers in my school to bring this project to fruition by September.  

Anyway - the educators List-Serve to which I subscribe has had an interesting thread over the past couple of weeks on gaming addictions, and specifically Second Life addictions.  The two sides of the argument are that either it is addicting, as it consumes an increasing amount of your time here, frequently has negative impacts on your real life, and is difficult to leave (see also impossible - i liken it to Hotel California)  OR  it is not an addiction, as the time spent here is (for educators/builders/scriptors/scientists/?) for productive purposes even if it means being so focused that you forget to eat or sleep.  Needing to log in upon wakening didn't seem to count as a "problem behavior".

So, Tribe members, I would REALLY like to hear what you have to say about this.  Please comment with your thoughts and experiences regarding this, if you are willing to share that.  

This ought to be interesting!

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Goin to leave this Broke-down Palace...for a while

Its time for a break.  I love you all.

Fare you well my honey
Fare you well my only true one
All the birds that were singing
Have flown except you alone

Goin to leave this Broke-down Palace
On my hands and my knees I will roll roll roll
Make myself a bed by the waterside
In my time - in my time - I will roll roll roll

In a bed, in a bed
by the waterside I will lay my head
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
to rock my soul

River gonna take me
Sing me sweet and sleepy
Sing me sweet and sleepy
all the way back back home

It's a far gone lullaby
sung many years ago
Mama, Mama, many worlds I've come
since I first left home

Goin home, goin home
by the waterside I will rest my bones
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
to rock my soul

Goin to plant a weeping willow
On the banks green edge it will grow grow grow
Sing a lullaby beside the water
Lovers come and go - the river roll roll roll

Fare you well, fare you well
I love you more than words can tell
Listen to the river sing sweet songs
to rock my soul